The Vegas Deviation
by shilohandmilorule
Summary: The gang goes to a convention in Vegas, Shamy wake up finding themselves naked in a thrashed honeymoon suite.
1. Chapter 1

**I loved this story so I'm posting it on here.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own TBBT, this story is owned by fedaltard .

**Author's Note:** English is not my first language and I like to write  
crack! Porn with no respect for grammar, pretty much AU, I just do it to have  
fun.

**Vegas**

Amy woke up with a strange feeling of uneasiness, she usually didn't have any trouble getting off her bed,  
but that day she was experiencing the standard symptoms of an alcohol-induced feeling of nerve distress known to the rest of the world as a hangover.

Her nether regions had a soreness that was highly unusual as well since she only used them for bowel movements and it was as if she used them for horse riding or coitus.

The next thing Amy noticed was her nudity and the fact that there was a naked male sleeping next to her, one of his arms was holding her tightly against his morning erection.

She tried to move, but the strong arm just held her tighter, in that moment she turned her head to look at the male that took her virginity, even if she wanted to subscribe to the alien parasite hypothesis, Occum's razor didn't point to  
that.

It was Sheldon.

He was still asleep, his body curled towards her, his hair mussed and she saw several marks her teeth left on the upper part of his body.

One look at the room and Amy felt the need to vomit and it wasn't due to her  
hangover.

It was a "Love" nightmare: a circular bed with red satin sheets, a big neon heart as a headboard (some parts of the circuit seemed to be malfunctioning, maybe too many hits to the wall?), rose petal leading the way from the entrance (wait, was that her brassiere torn up in the floor? go Sheldon!), Barry White music coming out from a hidden stereo system, a chest full of condoms and lubricants...

Didn't seem cheap at the sightless (at least not in monetary value) but the place looked like a porn movie set instead of a suite, it wasn't definitely what either one of them got when they arrived in Vegas (she was rooming with Penny, Sheldon was with Leonard).

Amy yawned and looked at her watch to check out the hour, then her whole world collapsed.

In her left hand, there was a wedding ring.

They have gone and done the worst cliché of all: getting drunk and marry in Vegas.

While the marriage idea had frightened her at the beginning, the possibilities of a future were creeping on her mind: Sheldon was the only male of her acquaintance that understood her and her work, by the looks of the room (how  
have they broken that IRON chair? and his boxers somehow ended up there on the fan) they had an amazing sexual compatibility and since they have already talked about the possibility of having children together, this seemed like the most logical of paths for them to take.

(Now, they both did it when they were drunk, will he be as easily convinced when sober?)

Sheldon was still out to the world, not in his usual mummified way but very relaxed in his nakedness, his morning erection was tenting the sheet and she ached to touch it.

A wicked smile crept out on her face, maybe she would have to be persuasive and wake him up, help him with the "little" (oh no, that was not accurate at ALL) problem that he had in the moment.

Amy lifted up the sheet and saw his penis for the first time (at least the first non-drunk time), which brought her back memories of the previous night.

_Come on guys, let's hit the casinos, with all our brains put together we can scrape out some cash! Howard was begging with all his might._

Wolfowitz, our minds have to be put to more noble pursuits, like science; but well, what can I expect from a man that only has a MSc to his name? you're a slave to your baser desires and expect to drag the rest of us with you.

Now, apart from the string theory monk, who else is game? Bernie, darling? please? He was doing the puppy dog eyes at his girlfriend.

I don't know Howard, what if we get stuck in one of those mafia casinos and some De Niro-lookalike takes us to the basement for a torture round? Leonard being his whiny self.

Come on guys, don't you want to have some fun? This is VEGAS! We didn't come here to stay holed up in the hotel! This is the city of Sin, we can have so much fun clubbing and betting. Live for once!

That was Penny trying to get them out of their comfort zones.

Amy was ok with Penny's idea, after all she thought they were going to be out of their element and back to their rooms soon enough.

_I agree with my bestie, if we're in the capital of the state of sin, we have to sample what it has to offer._

You can't be serious Amy Farrah Fowler! This is the city of the STDs and germs, of the addicts and prostitutes! I refuse to go out of my room!

Raj was nursing a beer and pondering his options, finally setting up for a little guilt trip:

_Come on dude, we're all going, are you refusing to allow me to be a part of the whole American experience? After you tricked me with the Thanksgiving gifts? Am I not good enough to have beer and dance in a Las Vegas club? Am I  
not American enough to spend my life savings in a casino in the city? if you thought that way, you should have allowed them to remove my work visa and sent me back to the outskirts of Delhi where I belong with "my people"_

Sheldon looked a bit remorseful and finally agreed, though they had to be back by midnight at MOST, he was not going to miss valuable REM cycles because of them and their homo sapiens desires.

Little did he know that night was going to change his life forever. 


	2. Chapter 2

Their first stop was at the Hard Rock Cafe, all the boys wanted the full experience and you didn't go to Vegas if you hadn't stepped foot on the Casino and the Rehab party was so legendary they had to try it (or at least that's what they all said).

Once the gang got there, they split: Raj, Howard and Bernadette went to The Joint, Leonard and Penny went to check out the Vanity nightclub and Sheldon decided to hit the Casino with Amy (really: between a cesspool of germs in water, a place filled with smoke and loud music and the casino? no brainer there).

They decided to get around the blackjack tables first, to check out how the game was played in real life (at one point, Amy was taking notes and doing some math with Sheldon before the security guards took those away from them, much to their displeasure).

Neither one was an expert on human emotion, but some of the expressions in the players' faces were just too easy to read and that's how they knew who was winning in each table before anyone else.

At one point, boredom was hitting and Sheldon started to count the cards unconsciously, getting the result right every single time.

Amy proposed that they could win some money by betting and counting the cards (isn't that illegal, Amy Farrah Fowler? and betting is not something my mom is very happy about) but she convinced him to do it for the sake of both their researches.

Since both were quite savvy with their money, they had enough cash at their disposal but chose to start in one of the "poorer" tables and build up slowly, as not to call unwanted attention on themselves.

Their first bet was $20, that swiftly turned into $200 once Sheldon started doing his magic there, Amy advised him to lose every once in a while, since it was statistically impossible to win 100% of the time (his competitive nature was battling against it, but as usual, the reason won and he demurely lost every 5 times or so).

Once they had moved into the thousand category, the Casino started offering beverages (another argument broke here since Sheldon didn't want alcohol and Amy considered it was a non-optional social convention to have it there, she convinced him with the we're gonna get caught if we don't drink argument).

Neither one was very experienced with alcohol, so with a couple of scotch's and some champagne they were both on their way to be inebriated, thankfully that didn't influence his game (and she was there to remind him when to lose).

Once their winnings were substantial, they were moved to the Peacock Lounge, where the minimum bet was $2000, which was pocket cash for all the money they have won during the night.

Stakes were higher, alcohol was better and they found themselves getting into the "Vegas couple" behavior (Sheldon kissing Amy in the cheek after winning a game, her embracing him when they "lost", general closeness).

At one point, she was sitting on his lap while Sheldon was playing a hard game against very good (and very rich) opponents, the hand was worth $100000/player (with 5 players) and if they played their cards right (pun intended) there was the chance to walk away with half a million dollars in their pockets.

As expected, Sheldon won and the euphoria made him grab Amy and kiss her passionately, she was so excited as well and allowed him liberties no other man had gotten before.

Breathing was a secondary concern once their tongues started entangling, he was losing control and briefly thought of ravishing her on the blackjack table.

One of the casino's employees cleared his throat briefly to make them part, he was telling them that not only have they won the money but also they won a night in one of their suits.

There was still too little space between them, Sheldon was nuzzling her jaw while the guy was telling them about it.

By tacit agreement, they decided to take the opportunity and were taken to their suit.

The circular water bed made them both go into a fit of giggles, which intensified with a bottle of champagne left for them there.

_So Sheldon, how are we supposed to celebrate our winnings?_

His expression was decidedly wicked and Amy felt slightly sheepish and very aroused.

_I think I want to engage in coitus with you Amy Farrah Fowler._

She got closer to him and went to take off his jacket but Sheldon stopped her.

_My mother made me promise her that I wouldn't have intercourse if I wasn't married, I have never honored her in anything but that and I intend to keep it that way._

Amy was confused about this change of events, he wanted to engage in coitus but wasn't going to do it unless he was married? What was he playing at?

Her answer came when he went down in one knee and asked the question that would change their lives forever.

_Will you enter a marriage contract with me, Amy Farrah Fowler?_

She felt as if she couldn't breathe, his eyes were hazy and he was looking at her with a mix of softness and desire.

All she could do was accept.


	3. Chapter 3

They went out of the hotel and took a cab (Sheldon was drunk enough not to protest about it), which headed to the Star Trek chapel.  
Neither one was thinking clearly enough to call their friends and tell them about the news, so it would have to be the two of them.

**Greetings Humans, what can I do for you today?** A middle aged man in Starfleet uniform asked them at the chapel door.

_We want to get married_

**ok, would you like to do it in the clothes you're wearing or would you like Starfleet uniforms?**

_THE UNIFORMS!_ Sheldon almost screamed in happiness, this was a dream come true for him, they changed into their costumes (Sheldon as Spock and Amy as Uhura) and went to the main part of the chapel.

An elder man with Starfleet Admiral Uniform was the officiate and he asked them about witnesses. Since they didn't have anyone with them, two of the Chapel's workers (dressed as Vulcans of course) stood by them.

The ceremony was total Star Trek, with them promising to live together as long as the Enterprise was traveling across the stars, with the exchange of rings symbolizing Earth and Vulcan and ended up with the archetypical ST blessing: **Live long and prosper** and the hand sign from everyone there; after that, Sheldon kissed his bride and they went out, to live their first night as newlyweds.

They grabbed a cab back to the hotel, still in their ST costumes and feeling giddier than ever.

Once they arrived to the hotel, both decided to skip dinner and went up to celebrate in the suite they had won.

The elevator ride seemed to take forever, there was just the attendant and them, Sheldon started kissing Amy and their hands started to wander once again.

**DING** the elevator bell took them apart from their private world and let them know they were at their suit.

_Leave the ears on_ was all Amy said before he engulfed her in another passionate kiss now in the sanctuary of their room.

**PRESENT**

Amy was still lost in her memories when she felt a hand going up one of her thighs, it was Sheldon, _her husband_ moving one broad palm across her skin and she felt herself getting wet at the look in his eyes.

In one swift move he pinned her down to the bed and said _morning, dear wife, would you mind an encore performance of last night?_

She liked his weight on her and the contrast between his muscles and her softness, but there was a nagging feeling of insecurity because of the circumstances of their marriage

_Do you... Do you remember what happened?_

Sheldon laughed softly _I have an eidetic memory, Amy COOPER, I remember **everything**, maybe you should allow me to help refresh your memory?_

Each statement was punctuated with a kiss, first on her eyelids, then on her cheeks, nose and finally her mouth, he grabbed her cheek with one hand and her hair with the other, deepening the last one, getting their tongues acquainted again, they were already old friends after the previous night.

Now Amy was starting to remember and remember pretty well the events of their wedding night, his methods were excellent, in and outside of the academic setting.

**FLASHBACK**

Her Starfleet uniform was swiftly removed from her body (Amy thought she heard a ripping noise somewhere, oh, that was her bra gone) and Sheldon's hands started working out their magic on her body, his caresses were going lower and lower till he reached her ass and lifted her up against his body, her legs closed around his waist instinctively and he started carrying her to the bed.

Once they got there, her hands started to work on his uniform as well, she started unbuttoning the shirt, kissing each newly revealed inch of skin on his chest, he was breathing erratically and his eyes were almost black with lust.

Sheldon gripped her ass harder when she licked at his nipple and the surprise made her yelp and bit him unconsciously, leaving a mark there.

He growled and grabbed both her hands, pinning her to the mattress with his whole weight.

_You have played a bit Amy, maybe it's time for me to return the favor?_

The journey south started with her lips, he promptly left those for her neck, kissing, licking and scrapping the skin with his teeth, she couldn't touch him but the sensations made her wiggle against the obvious erection that was tenting his regulation trousers.

When he reached her breasts, he kept pinning her hands with one of his, but the other went down to stimulate one of her nipples while his mouth worked his magic with the other.

Amy was feeling so aroused and her wetness was passing through her panties, electrical currents going through her entire body.

He kept going down till he reached the edge of her panties, then he looked at her eyes and said _may I taste you, wife?_

That was the most erotic thing she had ever heard and she nodded her agreement.

His patience and self-control were seemingly gone, so he just tore the material and went directly to her center, kissing her in the most intimate of ways.

It was as if she was being electrocuted, every single one of her nerve endings seemed to be hyper sensitive, her body was singing, floating in a burst of sensation so powerful it left her breathless.

Suddenly, her hands went free, he was too busy using both of his to open her up to his questing mouth, and she had to grip the sheets to anchor herself.

There was an abyss coming, she could already feel the pre-orgasmic spasms while his tongue was doing all kinds of beautiful things to her insides.

Amy knew it was coming, but the feeling of orgasm itself was something she could have never been prepared for, her mind and her body melted into one long explosion of pleasure, an endorphin rush so phenomenal that left her limbs shaking with the after-effects of it.

His chin came up and rested carefully in her still spamming abdomen, her juices glistening on his mouth.

He looked at her and went up to claim her mouth, her own taste tangy and foreign on his tongue, it was a kiss that promised things to come.

**FLASHBACK**

Amy never thought that coitus could be that _intense_, she always believed that everything that could be seen in pornographic movies was just a product of excessive cinematography and faked reaction to certain stimuli.

Now that she had her first taste of what intercourse was like, she understood why the human race was so obsessed with the mating rituals, the feelings were indescribable, a euphoria she didn't know she was missing till she felt it.

Sheldon was looking at her with dilated pupils and she noticed that a flush was moving down his body, from his face to his chest to the edge of the briefs he was still wearing, those sported a massive erection and she wondered if all of that would fit inside of her.  
He seemed to be able to read her thoughts because he said

_I will do my best to reduce your pain to the minimum, Amy_

Both were aroused but also nervous, this was a huge step for both, but he understood that it was a bigger conundrum for her than for him due to the future destruction of her hymen.

_Shall we proceed? yes, I think your erection might turn into priapism if you don't reach orgasm soon_

His underwear came out and Amy was finally able to look at her husband in all his naked glory (hoo, true Texan this one), but before she was able to categorize everything that was Sheldon, he was slowly crawling to her, positioning himself on top.

He started to explore her with his fingers, to test her readiness, that brought her back to a state of arousal, he was watching her carefully, not wanting to hurt her but also wanting to find that elusive euphoria he had heard so much about.

_This is your last chance to deny intercourse, Amy, I am not sure I would be able to resist much longer_

She noticed how he was almost shaking with the effort not to penetrate her and nodded her consent, Sheldon realigned them so that his erection was at the opening of her wet folds and with one last kiss, he entered her.

Amy expected a searing pain and was bracing herself but apart from some stretching/burning and a small tearing (she felt worse the first time she was trying to use a tampon) it really wasn't that bad.

Inch by inch, he was making his way inside of her, stopping once he was buried balls deep; both were breathing heavily and sweat was starting to pour off their bodies, his restraint was admirable but Amy wanted more, so she decided to use Kegel exercises to evoke a response out of him.

Sheldon groaned when he felt her vagina walls clench him tightly and his self-control simply snapped, he started to move in and out of her, slowly at first and more powerfully once they got a rhythm going.

If Amy thought that oral intercourse gave her powerful sensations, that was nothing compared to what his penis was doing inside of her, every time he moved it was as if he was reaching a place inside of her that she wasn't even aware existed, she couldn't help but thrust back and grab his gluteus to force him deeper inside of her, the sensations were blinding.

At that moment he understood why his friends did what they did for coitus, his masturbation couldn't compare to the exquisite feeling of a receiving body, she was so hot inside, so wet and so responsive, fluttering around him with each movement, it was making it hard for him to think, to do anything else but feel.

Their coupling got more heated as they were nearing their peaks, the bed was making squelching sounds and the headboard was hitting the wall as they let go of years of celibacy and denied desires, her nails started to scratch his back as she held on dear life while he basically fucked her into the mattress, every thrust a second closer to heaven.

_I'm nearing my orgasm, Amy, are you as well? Oh yes Sheldon, just do it harder, please just do it harder, HARDER_

who was he to deny his wife anything? His movements became harder and faster and he remembered that sometimes females needed more than vaginal intercourse to reach their orgasms, so he reached down and started to rub her clitoris, pressing it to her pelvic bones.

That was all it took for her to arch her back, screaming and thrashing in an orgasm so powerful it was painful in its intensity, her whole body was seizing and that caused him to come as well, spraying her walls with his hot seed and groaning her name loudly.

Sheldon allowed himself to collapse on top of her for a minute before he remembered he was much heavier and moved sideways while keeping himself still inside of her, savoring their closeness and caressing her hair softly.

_Thank you for giving me this gift, Amy I think this is a case of a gift that keeps on giving, Sheldon_

He laughed that breathy laugh Amy loved so much and she gave him the first real smile she had given anyone since she was a little girl, they snuggled closer together and fell asleep, feeling sated and contented, complete for the first time in their lives

**PRESENT**

Their kissing grew heated and Amy felt bold enough to touch him, after all he was her husband and they had done a LOT more than that the night before.

Her hands started to move across his back and arms, memorizing every inch of skin for future reference, she learned several things: he was ticklish under his armpits and that he shuddered softly into her mouth when she caressed his hipbones.

It was too much for both of them, they had to be joined, their arousal was making itself known, Sheldon's erection was pressing insistently against her stomach, and he started kissing her neck, giving her small bites around her collarbone, caressing her ass and legs.

His hand went down to her labia, to check her readiness, once he knew she was completely wet, he looked at her eyes and asked for silent permission, she nodded and braced herself.

One smooth thrust and they were joined, the soreness she felt soon gave way to pleasure once he started moving, they never stopped kissing and touching every bit of skin they could reach.

Lost in passion, Sheldon grabbed her ass cheeks and lifted her a bit to deepen the penetration, she felt him hitting her cervix and it only excited her more; both were now pounding each other, hell bent on reaching their peaks, chasing that moment of pure bliss that was just a few heartbeats away.

This time he came first, shuddering and thrusting through his orgasm, Amy followed him soon enough, her body locking around his.

They stayed quiet for a moment, while their heartbeats returned to their normal rate and the aftershocks stopped, but their nature prompted them to talk

_well, I think we can now say that we have a working knowledge of what sexual intercourse means, right?  
yeah, this can help me with some of the experiments I was doing with monkeys, I have a better grasp of the concept right now, thank you for that Sheldon_

The post-coital bliss was settling on them, bringing its sated drowsiness; neither one knew what the future would bring to them, how to tell their family and friends about what happened, all they knew is that they were going to take on it together.

Sheldon softly stroked her back while they were falling asleep and suddenly remembered his Meemaw words _Sometimes Moonpie, all you need is a little push on the right direction, but knowing you and how stubborn you are, it has to be an almighty shove to make you see the error of your ways_

He had never been happier to receive a shove in his entire life.

the end.

this story belongs to . so send all reviews to her. 


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